I once thought I had a multilingual lifestyle.

That’s how I introduce my blog and YouTube channel to people anyway. As a student, I lived in a foreign language (English), and I spent some time on various language learning apps every day. I watched YouTube and Netflix in foreign languages. My commute consisted of podcasts in a different language every day.

But it wasn’t until the past few months that I realised how wrong I was.

A multilingual lifestyle isn’t a hobby, like I put it. Language learning can be a hobby, for sure, but to turn that into part of my life is to commit.

I’ve been slowly getting through the Queen’s Gambit lately, like everyone in the world, and I saw a bit of me in Beth—at least a version of me that would have existed if I had decided to make languages my lifestyle, or will exist if I make that decision now. It gave me a painful realisation.